IT’S GREAT when we women are in control of ourselves, our lives and our destinies, but sometimes, we can go a little too far, and wind up stepping on the toes of those around us. But how far is too far? How do you tell the difference between being in control and being overly controlling?
Take my exclusive quiz—or, rather, I nicely suggest you take my exclusive quiz, and see.
When cooking, you:
A. Eyeball it; a handful of this, a handful of that, and if all else fails, drown it in ketchup.
B. Use good old, tried and true recipes, but you’re not afraid to give your dish your own personal twist; a favourite herb, or a shortcut your mother taught you.
C. Measure all ingredients twice, and if you think you’ve made a mistake, you start over.
At restaurants, you:
A. Ask the waiter to surprise you.
B. Order from the menu . . . but ask for dressings on the side, and hold the MSG.
C. Demand they bring out sous-chef and grill him (“grill” . . . ha) on whether the kingfish is north coast or east, and whether the white sauce is made with cooking cream or sour cream.
When you and your honey are dressing to go out on a special date, you:
A. Compliment him on the way he’s dressed, even though you privately think he could have done without those white tube socks with his dress shoes.
B. Politely suggest he change his tube socks for something else.
C. Don’t even bother to oversee how he dresses; after all, you personally bought every single garment in his closet and arranged them by colour, texture and style.
Your boss invites you to her home for cocktails. You:
A. Drop by after you’re done liming in the mall, wearing whatever you had on when you left. After all, you’re off the clock; she can’t tell you how to dress.
C. Cancel your plans, break out your little black dress, and pick her up a nice bottle of red on your way over.
C. Tell her you’ll come, but she really must lock that fuzzy dog of hers away before you get there. It’s bad for your allergies, and you’d rather not get dog hairs on your new velvet miniskirt.
You and your husband are both so busy that it’s not often you get to spend quality time together. You:
A. Let it slide. Every now and then your free nights coincide, and that’s enough for you.
B. Actively collaborate with him to arrange for a date night at least once a week, even if it means giving up some other important activity. After all, your relationship deserves the time investment.
C. Call up all his friends and read them the Rules According to You: No liming on weekends; no phone calls after 9:00 p.m., and all sporting events, etc. have to be cleared by you first.
It’s your best friend’s wedding, and all eyes are on her. You:
A. Step aside every time you see a camera, so as not to photobomb any of her precious shots.
B. Dress tastefully, pose with her for a few happy photos, and then slip into the kitchen to make sure the caterer is on top of things.
C. Turn up dressed in a long, flowing white gown. Festooned with lace. With white orchids adorning your elaborate updo. With a shiny rock on your finger bright enough to dazzle the pilots of passing aircraft . . ..
SCORING
Mostly As. Sweetheart, life is a participation sport. You’re not meant to stand on the sidelines while it goes by. DO something!
Mostly Bs. Nice job. You know when to hold ‘em, and know when to fold ‘em. Kenny Rogers would be proud of you. And so am I.
Mostly Cs. Slow your roll, sister. It’s not all about you. Believe it or not, you share this planet with about 7 billion more of us. And not everyone was placed here to do your bidding.
Other signs you need to loosen your grip:
- You assume you know what the other person is thinking. You can’t.
- If things don’t go your way, you sulk. Or throw a tantrum.
- People plan events, put everything in place, and then invite you.
- Your phone bill is through the roof because you are constantly calling people up to “see if everything is going according to plan”.
- Your boyfriend’s left sleeve is always wrinkled from the death grip you keep on his arm wherever you go.
- You try to re-write Wikipedia—all of it—to suit your world view.
I’d ask you to leave a comment here—but would that seem controlling?
