As I said in a recent post, getting a bad review sucks. It can be inaccurate (or not), hurtful, or useless. Although it’s a bit more private, getting a bad critique from a friend or critique partner can suck just as bad. And if you can’t handle it, don’t dish it out.
Here’s how to avoid giving another writer a bad critique:
Ask yourself what you’d want if you were in their position.
Respect, right? Honesty, clarity and depth. That’s a good place to start.
Ask them what they’re looking for
Is there anything they’re particularly concerned about? Do they think they’ve nailed the setting but are still unsure of their characters? Are they anxious about inaccurately portraying a character of a different ethnicity, sexual orientation, or political point of view? Try to home in on what they’re most unsure about, and focus your feedback on that.
Be honest but not brutal
If a writer trusts your opinion, you owe them to be honest. Handing it back with a pasted-on smile and the assurance that it was “perfect” is doing them a disservice. Use tact where necessary, directness where necessary. But make sure your feedback is motivated by a desire to help, not hurt. You wouldn’t want anyone to trash your piece, and tear it to so many shreds that you don’t recognise it anymore. So try to rein in your inner bitch.
Be specific
Saying, “I dunno, but I just didn’t like Theodore,” helps nobody. Why didn’t you like him? How can you fix him? Try to focus on specifics. “Theodore’s character didn’t feel realistic to me because he’s so consistently good that he almost doesn’t seem human.” Or, “Theodore’s mode of speech just doesn’t sound right. It’s not feasible to me that a man who never finished primary school would have the kind of vocabulary you’re putting in his mouth.” There, now that you’ve explained your concerns, your friend can fix the problem.
Be timely
Yeah, we’re all busy, but if someone gives you their precious book and asks you to read it, don’t toss it onto a drawer and convince yourself you’ll get to it “some time”. We writers are an anxious bunch. If you make us wait too long for feedback, we’ll start by consuming our fingernails, then move on to our toenails. Then our digestive juices will begin to dissolve our stomach lining. And all the while a nasty voice in our head will be chanting: They hate it because its awful. I suck. My book is a disaster. I’m never going to write again.
Please, put us out of our misery. Get back to us as soon as you’re able. Gracias.
Offer suggestions
If you’re a reader or a writer yourself, you’ll understand how valuable another person’s perspective can be. Sometimes we know something’s wrong, but aren’t sure how to fix it. If Theodore is too good to be true, how do we take him down a peg or two . . . convincingly? Does he filch pennies from the tip jar at the deli? Does he mumble an excuse and shut the door in the face of a couple of kids asking for school donations? Sometimes our imagination well runs dry, and we’re glad for a jump-start.
Remember, though, that just because you shared an idea doesn’t mean you own it. Give of your own free will, but for Gollum’s sake, don’t decide you have the right to call your writer friend up every three days to ask if they’ve used your idea yet. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but once a suggestion has been made, you no longer have ownership.
So what does this all boil down to? When you’re critiquing a piece, do as you would be done by. Because next time, it might be you looking for an opinion, and you’ll want only positive karma flowing your way.
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