While there are many women who would be scandalized by the mere idea of ‘doing without’ for any period of time, there are probably as many who long to take a break from the battlefield. For these women, a sexual hiatus is far from a ‘dry season’; it’s a chance to regroup and rediscover themselves and their priorities in an already oversexed world.
Among the many reasons women take this step are:
They’re tired of being hurt
Done-me-wrong songs go platinum for a reason: we’ve all been hurt, so we can all identify with the heartbreak set on the radio. For some women, though, the prospect of enduring another broken heart is more than they can bear. The hopeless romantics among us fall hard and fast, and too often, we fall for the wrong guy. Like a chameleon, ‘the wrong guy’ can appear in many disguises: married, slacker, parasite, user, closet bisexual, sweet-talker and two-timer. Who wouldn’t want to take a break from that?
Sex clouds the issue
Looking for Mr. Right is like being a pearl diver searching the sea floor for oysters, but at the same time, churning up the sand so that the water becomes too cloudy to see anything. Giving up sex for a while allows a woman’s vision to clear. Taking the prospect of sex (and its mind-altering effects) out of the equation makes it possible to judge a man on other qualities, and to spend more time getting to know who he really is.
It really isn’t necessary to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince: if you spend enough time in a man’s company, he’ll reveal by his words and actions whether or not he has royal blood.
They want to pursue other interests
Sex takes up a lot of a woman’s time. Well, not necessarily the act of making love, but everything that leads up to or results from it. The preparations for each date, the time spent shopping for the right outfit, the obsessions over the man in question (does he love me, did I say the right thing/act the right way last time we met, what if he doesn’t care for me as much as I care for him, ad nauseam) not only soak up huge amounts of valuable time, they also sap us of our energy.
Some women decide this is all too taxing, and turn their interests to something that brings them a sense of accomplishment while relieving them of their responsibility to satisfy someone else. They take an art class, write their memoirs, plant a garden, travel… and in so doing, reach out to someone truly deserving of their love and attention: themselves.
They’re afraid of catching something
HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV, herpes, hepatitis, thrush and trichomoniasis…the list goes on forever, but you get the picture. With all those vicious—and occasionally deadly—bugs out there, the only guaranteed way to avoid contraction is for two healthy people to be in a committed, faithful relationship. For some women, until that happens, nothing else if going to happen.
They don’t get much out of it anyway
Sadly, for some women, sex is situated somewhere on the pleasure scale between brushing their teeth and drying and packing away the dishes. It’s a necessary act, vital to maintain harmony in the home or the relationship, but not something they see as doing to please themselves.
Sometimes removing the sense of obligation is enough to give a woman time to find out whether her lack of sexual pleasure has emotional, psychological or physical causes, and to take steps to rectify the problem. With an understanding mate, taking a break can be the recipe for rediscovering sexual joy once the embargo is lifted.
They want to reach out and touch the face of God
Some women arrive at new religious convictions or embrace those of their youth, and in many instances, this includes reassessing their sexual behaviour. This may require reclaiming one’s lost innocence, wrapping oneself in a cloak of ‘neo-virginity’, and staying that way either until sex can be sanctioned by the religion in question (usually marriage) or until such time as the woman feels that her spiritual quest is complete.
A brief stint of celibacy can make a good thing better
Self-imposed celibacy can be for a specific period, or until some vague point in the future when a woman knows that re-entering the arena is the right decision for her. It doesn’t necessarily require a vow and a veil, but an awareness of the limits of one’s will power and a clear idea of the benefits and reasons for doing it.
What do you think? Any juicy stories? Leave a comment.
