Women
of the world have gone vampire and werewolf mad. The last two decades have seen an upsurge in
women thirsting for a good paranormal story, a glimpse of those beautiful,
deadly males who take our breath away with a glance, and who—if we aren’t
careful—can drain our life’s essence with a single bite.
Vampires
and werewolves are mysterious breeds, and there are as many interpretations of
their species as there are paranormal writers.
The teens of the Twilight saga are sulky and brooding, the bayou
blood-suckers of True Blood are savage and amoral, Ann Rice’s
night-creatures are sensual and resplendent.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the great grand-daddy of them all, was at once a
dandified gentleman and a hideous beast from the deepest crevices of Hell.
So
why is it that these men, who should be the stuff of nightmares, are instead the
fabric of our most sensual fantasies?
They’re ultra-manly, and uber-gorgeous
Let’s
not kid ourselves, ladies. Vampires and
werewolves are lookers. It’s as if their
curse also left them with jaw-dropping good looks, mind-blowing physiques, and super-human
strength. And, yeah, pecs to die for,
which, bless the heavens, they have no problems showing off. Can it get
any better?
These
supernatural creatures are the definition of masculinity, an exaggeration of
all we’ve ever desired. Big, strong,
handsome, oozing testosterone from every pore.
Hands up if you’ve ever seen a weak, wimpy, wussy werewolf. Anyone?
Anyone? Didn’t think so.
We love bad boys
Vampires
and werewolves don’t have get-out-of-Hell-free-cards. They’re damned, and they
know it. So why not be as bad as they
wanna be? These guys are reckless and
rude. They court danger, laugh in the
face of death.
Werewolves
don’t become accountants. Vampires don’t
teach pre-school. They fight, they
prowl, they do donuts in parking lots in their 10-second cars and pop wheelies
on their speed bikes. They’re overgrown
boys, but we love them anyway.
They’re wild and passionate lovers
Vampires
and werewolves are the manifestation of the human sexual urge. They’re walking libidos. While Edward Cullen doesn’t trust himself to
touch Bella, P.N. Elrod’s vampire P.I., Jack, has no such reservations when it
comes to his girlfriend, Bobbi. For this
brave woman, a nip on the throat brings indescribable ecstasy. And werewolves, well, they’re just plain
animalistic. But in a good way.
They take us to the edge of danger and
bring us back
Make
no mistake; these creatures are killers.
When angered, they go for the jugular—literally. But we know that the supernatural loves of
our lives would never, ever hurt us.
Any
self-respecting werewolf would chain himself to a tree before the full moon
rises to prevent himself from hurting the woman he loves. Our vampire lover would go veggie, or at the
very least, sneak off down to a nearby sheep farm to chow down, rather than run
the risk of getting hungry in our presence.
For them, we’re lovers, not snacks. Doesn’t that make us feel special!
They’re protective of their females
Vampires
and werewolves are the distillation of manhood, and all good men look after
their women. They’d defend us against
our enemies to the last drop of blood in their bodies. Anyone who hurts us won’t have much time for
regrets. It’s a simple formula; you
touch their girl, you die.
They
don’t stop to think about it, or to reason.
For them, vengeance is a dish better eaten warm. And, preferably, screaming.
They’d give us awesome offspring
Any
woman who says she isn’t delighted when her child is first across the finish
line or comes first in test is lying. We
constantly compare our offspring to others, and it pleases us no end to think
that ours have the edge on everyone else’s.
Just
think what a werewolf gene could do.
And
although vampires don’t reproduce that way, they do gather in small groups, and
with the right alpha mate, the opportunity to play den mother to a brood of
young vamps can’t be ignored.
Either
way, we’d have a family of youngsters who are smarter, faster, and
stronger. As a bonus, they don’t spend
much time at home with pesky childhood diseases like measles and the flu. It can’t get better than that!
We love them because they make us feel
alive
Werewolves and vampires. Beautiful, sensual, loyal, strong, protective, and just plain sexy. We love the idea of them, and thrill to the thought that somewhere out there, they really might exist. And among them, there is a perfect specimen, whose destiny is intertwined—with ours.
The living and the undead can comment here.
