Tag: Books

Messing With Space and Time

I wish I could slip through a crack in time, too.

Wally Roux, Quantum Mechanic

Written by Nick Carr, performed by William Jackson Harper

All I can say is . . . awwwww. I fell in love with this young man from the opening lines. He was so sweet, so smart, so self-assured and so gauche at the same time. He reminded me of my son. I just wanted to bake him cookies and give him a hug.

Wally is a young man who moves to Savannah, Georgia with his adoptive mother, only to discover that a quantum vandal has been messing with the fabric of time, space, and whatever else. Chaos theory, string theory, who knows? I’m not a quantum genius like he is.

But instead of freaking out, he decides to rip a hole in the fabric of time/space, crawl in and fix the problem. In doing so, he discovers more about himself and who he is in the world . . .  and all the other infinite worlds out there. So sad this Audible recording is only about two hours long. I was begging for more.

Wally left me with an ache in my heart than only a sequel can fill.

Pairing

Today I’m going to team up Wally Roux, Quantum Mechanic with this pair of Red Kap Men’s Zip-Front Cotton Coverall, because Wally’s so aware that any moment he might have to crawl into messy time to fix it that he wears them every day. Good on you, Wally.

And this cool transparent backpack, so next time racists want to accuse him of shoplifting they can shut the hell up.

(Please note that as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Comments? Questions? Leave ‘em below.

Well, Do We Taste Like Chicken?

So that “tastes like pork” story was a rumour?

Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken by Johnny B. Truant

Once again, Truant’s excellent chapter-naming skills come into play. For instance, Chapter 1 is called “Cold Prick”.

Doesn’t get any more attention-grabbing than that! By now, Reginald is getting used to being a vampire, and trying to overcome that lingering feeling of being grossed out by the idea of clamping his mouth down on someone else’s neck just to have a meal.

We all know that when you get changed, you stay the way you are for all of eternity—unless you get roasted by the sun or staked, of course. So Reginald (don’t call him Reggie) is fat—very, very fat—for good. And while his vampire powers do little for his skill, speed or strength, he has discovered that his brain is hopped up to vamp-speed. He’s now the most intelligent vampire in the world.

And he has a girlfriend who wants him to change her.

Pairing

Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken pairs well with . . .

50 Ways to Eat Cock: Healthy Chicken Recipes with Balls! Apart from the fact that that’s the best cookbook title I’ve ever heard, cooking chicken for Reginald will hopefully keep us off the menu!

This cool XTERRA treadmill, like the ones poor Reginald is being forced to run on for hours by a malicious shape-shifting incubus. Which does him no good because, yup, vampires can’t lose weight.

Wanna talk about it? Please leave a comment below.

Whoever Heard of a Fat Vampire?

Down with sparkly vamps!

So it seems vampires can eat food!

Fat Vampire by Johnny B. Truant

Serendipity is a funny thing. I stumbled across Fat Vampire while playing an online game called Judgey. With all the buff, sparkly vampires running around I thought the idea of an obese vampire would be awesome.

I was right. From Chapter 1 (intriguingly entitled “Asshole”) I was hooked. A 350-pound treadmill salesman is stuck in his miserable, tedious life, being tortured by the office bully, self-comforting with pizza and donuts . . . until he’s turned by the weird Goth kid in the office who happens to be a vampire.

It was short, funny, and fascinating. I loved it so much I clicked on Fat Vampire 2 the second I finished the first one.

Pairing

Fat Vampire pairs well with this gorgeous handmade Samurai sword, in honour of the sword the vampire Maurice keeps hanging from his belt.

As well as a 40-pack of Cheetos, because they lied to you when they said vampires can’t eat human food. They can: they just can’t digest it. Happy, happy Reginald. He can feed his food fetish and not gain a pound.

(Please note that as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)

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