Tag: Craft

Wild Herds of Punctuation Marks on the Loose

We’ve lost control of our keyboards. Punctuation marks have taken over!

Cartoon of snakes shaped like a question mark and an exclamation mark.
They’re on the loose!

Perhaps it’s due to global warming, or maybe overpopulation, but have you noticed that punctuation marks which once roamed the wild like lone wolves have taken to grazing in herds? Multiple question marks terrorise the neighbourhood. Why????

And those exclamation points!!! Oh my God!!!! They’re everywhere!!!!

Call me old-fashioned (but don’t call me old), but I kinda think your writing should be strong enough that just one punctuation mark should suffice. Instead of saying OMG!!! I love you!!!, how about finding a fresh, endearing and memorable way to do it instead?

Excited to hear your point of view. Leave a comment below.

I’m a Total Whore for the Oxford Comma

A comma before “and”? Call the police!

Also called the serial comma, it’s the comma at the end of a list that comes before the word “and” (and sometimes “or”). A comma before “and”? Good God, is the world coming to an end?

We’ve all been taught that putting a comma before “and” will make your hand fall off. My Common Entrance lessons teacher used to say, “You can’t put a comma before ‘and’ because ‘and’ is a comma.” I’ve even had clients call me up, gagging, “Miss! You put a comma before ‘and’!”

Which is why I can’t control a naughty giggle when I use one–which is often. Makes me feel like a rebel.

But the serial comma is very useful for clarifying items in a list. If the items in a list are clear, you don’t need it: “I bought new towels, sheets and pillowcases.” But when it gets confusing, when it is hard to know if the last two items are separate entities or go together, you use it. “The only people who came to my party were my brothers, Machel and Keith Rowley.” Sooo, are Machel and Keith my brothers? Maybe if I said “my brothers, Machel, and Keith Rowley” it would be clearer.

Anyhow you slice it, love ‘em or hate ‘em, be consistent. Use serial commas throughout your piece where applicable, or don’t use them at all.

That’s my two cents. What’s yours? Leave a comment.

Pubic Relations

The best way to proofread is in print. That way the eye isn’t fooled. Better yet, let me proofread for you!

You’d be shocked if you knew how frequently I have to deal with careless, sloppy work delivered by full-time, professional writers. Apart from the frustration I feel, there is a sense of disbelief . . . if you make your living writing, shouldn’t you at least take pride in your work, and do whatever it takes to make sure it reaches the editor with as few errors as possible?


Everyone makes mistakes, myself included. This is why even editors need to be edited. But at the very least, whether you are a professional or an amateur, or simply have a paper to hand in or a memo to send out, please, proofread your work.

And the best way to do this is to print it out and read it with a red-ink pen in your hand. Why? Because the computer screen is a liar. It causes your brain to fill in the blanks, to see what you expect to see, not what is really there.

Paper, however, is brutally honest. It shows up flaws like litmus. We grew up reading on paper, not screens, so our brains aren’t fooled. So if what you’re writing is important, please print it out and read it before you publish it. That way you won’t get caught writing about “pubic relations” when you meant to say “public relations”.

Join the conversation. Please leave a comment.

Let’s Put Our Proverbial Best Foot Forward

It’s time to beat up (or beat down) tired old clichés and throw them in the garbage where they belong.

… and never use the word ‘proverbial’ again.

“She was lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree.”

“He was the proverbial black sheep.”

The second you write ‘the proverbial’ in your copy, what you’re essentially saying to your reader is, “Hear what, the next thing to come out of my mouth (or keyboard) is gonna be a pack of crap. Why don’t you just zone out for a few sentences, or skip ahead?”

Nothing good comes after ‘the proverbial’; only some tired, beat-down old cliché. So why bother? There are only three good reasons for using a cliché:

  1. Characterisation – If you’re trying to show that your character is a stagnant, boring old fart, have him speak in clichés.
  2. Irony – Wink, wink, me so funny. I’m so cool, I can talk in clichés and get away with it.
  3. Deadlines – If you go to print in half an hour, and you have no other way to express what you want to say, go brave, my friend.

Either avoid clichés outright, or, if you’re imaginative enough, embrace it, marry it, and bring forth a bunch of weird and interesting babies. In other words, change up the cliché to make it new again, like a coat of paint on a dingy wall. Why not put your best tentacle forward? Or your best pseudopodia?

Until then, ditch the clichés. Before I put a proverbial bullet in my proverbial head.

What’s your view? Please leave me a comment.

What’s Your Currency?

Why do your readers come to you? Why you and not someone else? Because you give them what they’re looking for.

Currency is just a means of barter. It doesn’t have to be money. You can trade beads for blankets. A sack of peas for a sack of potatoes. As a writer, you also have to know what your currency is.

First, what are you offering? Why are people reading you?

  • You’re funny. They’re looking for a laugh.
  • You’re knowledgeable. You know something we plebes don’t, and are willing to share the information.
  • You’re exciting. You can get our pulse thumping.
  • You’re trying to convince us of something, to rally us to war.
  • You disagree with us and want to change our mind.
  • You have files to buss and we just dying to hear the scandal.

Now, what do you want from us?

  • Money. Ain’t nothing wrong with that!
  • You want to change the world.
  • You want to rule the world.
  • You want our approval.
  • You like to make people laugh.
  • You’re collecting Likes. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, either. Go ahead, Like this post. No, seriously…Like. This. Post. Comment, if you feel like it.

Whatever your currency is, whatever you’re giving so you can get something in return, doesn’t really matter. (Except for the Comments. COMMENT ON THIS POST!)

What matters is that you are clear on your objectives, and make the clear to our reader. Otherwise, we’re both gonna be disappointed.

What are Garbage Words?

What “garbage words” are, how to spot them, and how to toss them out of your writing.

WHAT ARE GARBAGE WORDS?

Garbage words are words that clog up your writing, slow it down, and make it confusing or just downright boring. Off the top of my head, I can think of a few: “like”, “that”, and “also”. Some phrases just take up too much space. Why say “in order to” when you can say “to”? (Unless you’re paid by the word, ha ha.)

When I edit my work I take out my list of garbage words and do a search for them, one by one. When I find them I see if I can eliminate or replace them. It always makes my work cleaner!

Garbage words can also be specific to you. I know my work well enough to spot words I use over and over and over and over . . . you know what I mean. I try to cut them, too.

I’m sharing a few of my garbage words here. I hope this helps.

Garbage words

About

Actually

All

All but

Also

Anyway

But

Even

Exactly

Find oneself

Hit like a train

Huge

In order to

Just

Manage

Next

Now

Probably

Really

Right now

Smooth

Somehow

Stone cold

That

Then

Thick

Thing

Very

Waiting

Wonder

Wonderment

Sort of

Little

Quick