Or Jack; dudes have their moments too.
You’re at a business dinner when someone you desperately
want to impress arrives late. As you
stand and offer your hand, your sleeve catches your wine glass. You watch in horror as it levitates, its
contents arcing like a ruby rainbow. You
try to halt its trajectory by lunging forward, forgetting you’re still holding
your knife in the other hand, which lands point-down in your boss’ crème
brulée. You make a grab for it, sending the gravy
boat spinning. People leap out of the
way while others stare, and there you stand with your new linen suit looking
like it was spatter-painted by a two-year-old.
Calamity Jane strikes again.
Why is it that some people navigate life with effortless
grace while others lurch forward like WWII tanks with square wheels?
Sometimes, chronic clumsiness can have medical roots, such
as inner ear problems, motor co-ordination issues, and neurological conditions.
Other causes to look out for include
poor vision, infections, fatigue, stress, drug or alcohol use, even strokes. If your words constantly come out wrong, or if
you have that nagging feeling that the way you move is just wonky, get yourself
checked out by a doctor.
Generally speaking, though, some people are just born
graceful…oh, and how we try hard not to hate them. Multiple intelligence theory suggests that we
all have as many as nine different ‘intelligences’ or aptitudes. Those with high kinetic intelligence become
the athletes and ballerinas of this world.
Other people occasionally spill their tea or trip over a tree root, but
otherwise manage to navigate the planet unscathed.
Then there are those of us who can’t be trusted to walk and
chew gum at the same time. If you don’t
fancy giving Mr. Bean a run for his money, consider employing some of these strategies
to help you put one foot in front of the other without setting off a chain
reaction of destruction.
Pay attention
Remember the infamous YouTube video of the woman walking
into a fountain while texting? It sounds
facetious, but if she’d taken her eyes off the screen she probably would have
made it to the other end of the mall high and dry. In a multi-tasking world, it may feel like a
waste of precious seconds to do just ONE thing at a time, but it works out
better in the long run. Especially if that
one thing involves navigating awkward terrain or handling a blade.
Limber up
Funny how the ‘e-word’, exercise, keeps cropping up
everywhere, but physically fit people really do have better co-ordination. Apart from impacting your general health,
exercises that promote strength and flexibility, such as yoga, Tai Chi,
swimming, dancing, gymnastics and most martial arts, will improve your
co-ordination and self-confidence.
Slow down
We get it: it’s a mad, mad world, and you have a million
things to do before bed. Who
doesn’t? But skating around like an
out-take from a Benny Hill clip isn’t going to help you conquer your to-do list
if you spend half that time cleaning up spills and picking up shards of
crockery.
If you’re carrying a vase to the table, hold it in both
hands and walk carefully. If you’re
putting something down, make sure it’s level.
Don’t run unless you’re being chased, especially not on the stairs. You
are not Angelina Jolie’s stunt double.
Make sure your
clothes fit
Too long, too short, too loose, too tight…all good ways to
impair your movements and get you into a heap of trouble. Check your shoes regularly for signs of wear,
on the soles and the buckles. Those of
you who still use shoelaces in the age of velcro should make sure they’re
securely tied. Trailing laces only look
cute on kindergarteners, and if they trip on them, they have a much shorter
distance to fall.
Lefties beware
A handful (pardon the pun) of studies suggest that
left-handers have a slightly shorter life expectancy than righties. While much of this can be attributed to
physical and biochemical differences (such as lowered immunity to certain
diseases) some of it is also attributed to a higher rate of serious accidents.
Are lefties clumsier?
Not necessarily, but they are bombarded daily by tools and implements
designed for a right-handed world: doors, handles, machinery, even table
settings. As a result, they handle items
more awkwardly, and hurt themselves more often.
Bottom line: lefties need to be more careful.
R-E-L-A-X
Don’t fool yourself; you’re going to have bad days. But with a little care and attention, you’re going to have more good ones than ever. Practice these rules long enough, and your Calamity Jane moments might well be behind you. Just don’t forget they’re there, and back up and trip over them.
Share your calamity stories in the comments!
