What Kind of Carnival Queen are You?

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It’s Carnival time, and in T&T, where the road make to walk and woman is boss, that makes you a queen in your own right.  But what kind of Carnival queen are you?  Here’s how to find out.

It’s almost 2:00 a.m. at the hottest fete for the season, and Machel is up on stage, calling for a wining partner. You:

1. Literally climb over the crowd to get there, then promptly put on a display that would shock even the seasoned Soca veteran.
2. Challenge the best-looking man in your posse to help you out-do the girls on stage, right there in the audience.
3. Close your eyes, throw your arms in the air and just enjoy the groove.
4. Fete?  Two a.m.? Is your bed wet?

It’s J’Ouvert morning and the crowd on the pavement is thick.  A cute cop asks you to move back a little.  You:

1. Tell him to make you move, nah. 
2. Buss a wine on the man, back him up against a post, and ask him what calibre his gun is.
3. Hug up your homegirls and keep on chipping with your band.
4. Can’t hear him.  You’re up in the bleachers.

Carnival isn’t getting any cheaper.  How do you finance your Mas?

1. Take out a loan if you can.  Otherwise, beg, borrow or steal.  You could live on crackers and cheese for the rest of the year.
2. You’ve never paid for a costume in your life.  That’s what men are for.
3. Put aside a little every month, and if that doesn’t cover it, take a big bite out of your January budget.  It’s worth it.
4. Two snow cones and a ticket to Red Cross Kiddies’ Carnival hardly counts as an expense.

Your pan side makes it to Panorama Semis.  You:

1. Negotiate your way onstage as flag woman, and, when the cameras are on you, do things with the flag that could get you jailed.
2. Hang around the pan yard for every practice and try to catch the eye of the nice Ras on the tenor.
3. Practice, practice, practice, and play your heart out on competition night.  Yeah, of course you play pan!
4. Visit the pan yard once in a while, and buy a jersey to show your support.

Tuesday evening, everybody head hot.  A fight breaks out, and soon the air is thick with bottles.  You:

1. Try to get as many knocks in as you can, and then slip away and act as if you weren’t the one who started the fight in the first place.
2. Hang on to the nearest hunk and plead for protection.  Hang on TIGHT.
3. Run for cover, and find somewhere else to jam.  No violence is going to get between you and your Mas.
4. Shout for your husband to come and see a bottle fight on TV.

Results

Mostly 1s: You are June Gardiner’s Bacchanal Woman

You believe Carnival was created to let off steam, and you let off enough to power a small locomotive.  Ease your inner wajang off her leash just a little . . . but keep your sane and sober self in control.  Remember the power of the cell phone camera and the reach of social media.  The last thing you need is a viral video you’re going to have to explain to your boss, your family, and your future kids.

Mostly 2s: You are Elsie Lee Heung’s Diana, Goddess of the Hunt

You’re on the prowl for big game—the handsome, hunky two-legged kind—and the streets of Port of Spain are your happy hunting ground. We enjoy the rippling, bare-chested eye-candy too, but let’s be careful out there; many blue devils are still devils when the paint comes off.  Don’t do anything you’ll regret.

Mostly 3s: You are Allyson Brown’s Tan Tan

You love the Mas and the Mas loves you.  You like the feel of the costume against your skin and the smell of the Savannah dust.  Play your Mas, girl, play your Mas.

Mostly 4s: You’re Anra Bobb’s Love and Peace

Carnival just isn’t your cup of tea, and you’re content to sit back and let others enjoy it without laying a dose of the guilts on them.  Maybe you ought to sit this one out; take it in on TV, read a book, or escape to a Caribbean island with your honey and make your own Carnival memory.

However you play it, play it safe.