Writing About Otherness

Let’s celebrate our differences!

Image showing a morph of women of different races.

One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever heard a publisher say, at a conference several years ago, was, “We don’t let our black authors write white main characters; we don’t think they can identify enough to write it credibly.”

Say what?

I sat there, breathing through my mouth in shock, as she went on to explain that writers who write about people who weren’t like them, as in a different race, culture, sex, etc., fall too often into stereotype and caricature. So they simply didn’t allow it. If you’re black, so were your main characters. If you were white, well, you get the picture.

Stereotypes from hell

I was stunned, and 20 years later, I’m still in shock. Sure, we’ve all seen writers and even film directors attempt to convey a character who’s out of their own personal paradigm and fall into the trap of exaggeration, to the point of being insulting. One of my all-time favourite writers is Ed McBain, the author of the wonderful 87th Precinct detective series, which I consume voraciously. But I have to admit that his portrayal of black people, especially in his earlier, less politically correct novels, were cringe-worthy. Lots of “dis” and “dat” and pimp-walking going on. 

The Internet is also rife with examples of men writing female leads and spending inordinate amounts of time on full, ripe bosoms and long, silky legs. Lots of breasts jouncing hypnotically, and even a woman who kept her driver’s license, credit card and money in a tiny purse tucked inside her hoo-ha (really). If you don’t believe me, click here for a cackle-inducing roundup of startled breasts and flanks that look like the fuselage of a war plane.

Okay, fine. Sometimes the differences between us can be hard to bridge, especially if we don’t take the time and energy to learn about other people. So does that mean we’re forever sentenced to write only about people who look, talk and act like we do? That’s boring!

But how do you write about people who are different and make them compelling and believable?

Empathy

Empathy makes all the difference. It is the very human ability to identify with the emotions and situations of others. It’s the ability to recognise when someone is happy, scared, upset or anxious, even when we aren’t feeling those emotions ourselves. And it applies even if that person is a figment of your own or someone else’s imagination.

For me the key has been to draw parallels between my character’s situation and something in my life that could elicit similar emotions. I may never have been abused by a partner, but I can think of times in my life when I’ve felt scared and betrayed. I’m not currently in possession of a penis, but if I were writing a sex scene from a male POV I’d focus more on the sensation of touch, scent, taste, rather than the mechanics of erection and ejaculation (lest I make myself a laughingstock).

Recognise your humanity

Realise that the differences that separate us are smaller than the commonalities that bind us. We’re all humans; we’ve all been hurt, we’ve all been happy and scared and angry. The situation your character finds himself in doesn’t have to be something you’ve experienced for yourself; it simply has to elicit similar emotions. That’s a great place to move on from.

As always, show, don’t tell

There’s the temptation to narrate the experiences of a character who’s markedly different from us, mainly because we’re afraid we won’t be able to accurately portray them, but you need to get over that. Immerse yourself into the experience until you feel . . . something. Then write about that something.

Surrender to the feeling

Let the emotions sweep through you. Feel the prickle of anxiety, the thrill of desire, the cold, clammy weight of dread. What you feel is probably what your character feels. Make use of it. Write it down!


Fiction is a uniting medium. It brings us together across borders and across centuries. Even across galaxies. This is because despite race, gender, nationality, religion, skin tone or whatever the hell else, we are all human. Space aliens, monsters and the undead can experience emotions similar to ours, and that’s what makes them believable. Take advantage of that, and your writing is going to be golden.

(And if you want to have a little fun, click here for a challenge: Can you write a description of a female character the way a man would? Post below, let’s see!)

Comments and questions, guys. Let’s talk it through!

Is Alan Cumming His Father’s Son?

And incidentally, if you haven’t seen him in Titus, FIND IT AND WATCH IT!

Alan Cumming's Not My Father's Son

Probably the first time I encountered Alan Cumming was in Circle of Friends. I was immediately captivated by his snarky, rat-faced character; his job was to make your skin crawl, and that he did very well.

I think I saw him next in the bizarrely anachronistic rendition of Shakespeare’s Titus, along with Anthony Hopkins. Once again, Alan stole the show. And my heart. He’s pretty high on my list of celebrities I’d most like to have dinner with. Or anything else for that matter.

So you can imagine how I felt about his memoir, Not My Father’s Son. Alan Cumming, reading to me about his fabulous and exciting life! What could be better?

Well, let me tell you, if you’re looking for butterflies and light, you chose the wrong book, my brother. Alan’s young life was horrifying, veering between poverty, cold, and nightmarish abuse from a brutish father who reminded me of old man Morel in D. H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers. I mean, he almost scalped him, for God’s sake.

It’s an old trope that out of immense childhood pain arise the most creative and artistic impulses. But damn. How do some people survive such experiences, not only with their sanity intact, but with enough drive and ambition to make something of themselves?

Of course, one of the best parts of the book (apart from getting the scoop on all his fascinating theatrical projects and his romantic adventures as a bisexual man) was the mystery surrounding his paternity. Apparently, his mother had an affair, and there was a high chance that Alan was not, in fact, the son of the monster who terrorised him most of his life. The suspense will make you chew on your cuticles as you wait for the DNA test, his mother’s confession, and all the drama. Was he his father’s son? Get the book, cause I’m not gonna tell ya.

What I can tell you is, if you’re a fan of Alan’s, you’d be doing yourself a disservice by not getting this book. It’s a masterpiece.

That’s my two cents. What’s yours? Please leave a comment.

Inspiration is Perspiration

As opposed to sitting on your hands and moaning that you’re out of ideas.

As a young writer, I used to think of my mind as some sort of divinely inspired mega-computer that was constantly online, plugged into the cosmos, being bombarded by story ideas, quotes and characters like the International Space Station is bombarded by space debris. I remember boasting gleefully to my agent, Deidre Knight of The Knight Agency, that I’d spent the weekend “downloading stories from my brain.” Talk about self-delusion.

As I spent more time writing (and as I grew the hell up), I realised that there’s no cosmic idea-generating alternative universe that has nothing better to do than throw ideas at me like litterbugs tossing beer bottles onto the highway. I discovered that finding ideas was hard—and finding good, fresh, useable ones was damn near impossible.

Y’all know what I mean. We’ve all been there, bashing our head against our keyboard like Don Music at his piano. “I’ll never get it! Never!”

But unless we want our store of ideas to dry up like a frog pond in April, we have to actively seek them out. Here are a few of the places I look for mine—and you can do the same.

Newspaper clippings

Over the years I’ve collected enough newspaper clippings to line a hundred hamster cages. I’m always snipping or tearing out articles that strike my fancy, be they about gruesome murders, weird fetishes, charming towns, or inspiring people. Maybe I’ll never use 90% of them . . . but think of all the things I can do with that last 10%!

Keep your eyes and ears open

Let’s not call it eavesdropping. Let’s call it “Casual attentive overhearing.” People say the damnedest things. Gossip. Scandal. Pathos. Wisdom. Hilarity. It’s all there, falling from the lips of friends and strangers like manna from heaven. And all ya gotta do is gather them up into your basket.

Did you know my novel, Love Me All The Way, was based on a single overheard sentence? I once heard a friend remark that her mother always said, “Never let a man give you pearls; he will one day make you cry.” I was so excited by the idea that I immediately tried to find out how I could turn it into a story. Who would give who pearls? And why would he make her cry?

Thump your Bible

Or any other work of scripture or mythology.  The Bible is my favourite source of story ideas, and many of my novels have noticeable threads that trace back to well-loved stories. And why not? The book covers thousands of years of human history and is crammed full of every human foible and flaw: vanity, lust, murder, rape, incest, infidelity, lies, scheming, angels, demons, birth, death, hope and redemption. And that’s just the first couple of pages!

Visit your inner landscape

That’s just a fancy way of saying “daydream”. If you have a day job, develop the skill of working through your story while looking offally, offally interested in the staff-meeting purgatory you’re stuck in. Take discreet notes in the margins of your notepad. Learn to get up and slide into your fantasy while leaving your body behind, looking poised and attentive at the boardroom table.

Read, read, read

If I told you how many people have told me they want to be writers but hate to read, your earlobe hairs would all fall out from shock. Repeat after me: it is impossible to be a writer if you are not a reader. And no, I will not be taking counter-arguments at this time. 

Explore your dreams

No, not the one with you, Forrest Gump, a motel room and a banana. Most of the time, dreams are your subconscious taking the piss out of you, but sometimes, the sneaky little diva throws a few gems your way. When it happens, for God’s sake write it down. Dream-ideas last for less time than morning dew on a warm car engine.

Doodle, you doodlebug

Sketches, drawings, charts and vision boards help you see what’s in your head. Once you see it, you can make it grow. And you don’t need to be the next great insert-hot-famous-artist’s-name-here to sketch out your ideas. You’re drawing for you and nobody else. Someone else thinks your WWII rapid-fire artillery canon-whatsit looks like a duck? Their problem, not yours.

Whatever you do, write your ideas down, no matter how dumb they sound at the time. Maybe the next time you look at them they’ll still look dumb.

But then again, maybe they won’t.


I’ve done my part. Now it’s your turn. Leave a comment below.

Yes, Please, Amy!

Girl crushin’

Y’all know I’m a sucker for a good memoir, and Amy Poehler’s Yes, Please is definitely one of those.

I first spotted Amy on Upright Citizen’s Brigade, when I was repeatedly drawn to this strange, big-eyed blonde who just radiated good-natured weirdness. When she moved to SNL I started girl-crushing, and by Parks and Recreations I was besotted. She’s super smart, and so funny. When I got my hands on the Audible version of her book I was excited, because I knew the book was going to be good. AND she was going to read it to me. (I’m so spoiled.)

It always makes me feel good to hear of celebrities who had happy, stable childhoods and grew up to become normal, productive people, rather than the endless drama, dysfunction and anguish that you always imagine fuels a creative career.

I enjoyed listening to her journey, and her early experiences in comedy. I enjoyed her anecdotes about behind the scenes at SNL. And I fell in love with her husband, Will Arnett, all over again. He’s one of my favourite comedians, and I was so chuffed when they were married. They seemed perfect together. It broke my heart when they divorced. But she was so classy and diplomatic. I have ‘nuff respect for her for not dragging his name in the muck.

The cherry on top is, she also wins the award for best chapter title of all time: “Humping Justin Timberlake”. I could never have come up with anything that fabulous.  

Good job, Amy. I’m waiting for you to write again!

Pairings

Yes, Please is paired with The Best of The Carol Burnett Show By TimeLife: 33 Episodes on 11 DVD Collection, because Amy’s such a fan of Carol’s she managed to persuade her to speak on the book. And who doesn’t adore Carol Burnett?

And An Introductory Guide to Magic Mushrooms: The Beginners Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide of This Hallucinogenic Plant, i.e., a guide to tripping on mushrooms. Because, well . . . read the book.

Join the conversation. Please leave a comment.


How not to be a crappy critique partner

Follow the golden rule.

As I said in a recent post, getting a bad review sucks. It can be inaccurate (or not), hurtful, or useless. Although it’s a bit more private, getting a bad critique from a friend or critique partner can suck just as bad. And if you can’t handle it, don’t dish it out.

Here’s how to avoid giving another writer a bad critique:

Ask yourself what you’d want if you were in their position.

Respect, right? Honesty, clarity and depth. That’s a good place to start.

Ask them what they’re looking for

Is there anything they’re particularly concerned about? Do they think they’ve nailed the setting but are still unsure of their characters? Are they anxious about inaccurately portraying a character of a different ethnicity, sexual orientation, or political point of view? Try to home in on what they’re most unsure about, and focus your feedback on that.

Be honest but not brutal

If a writer trusts your opinion, you owe them to be honest. Handing it back with a pasted-on smile and the assurance that it was “perfect” is doing them a disservice. Use tact where necessary, directness where necessary.  But make sure your feedback is motivated by a desire to help, not hurt. You wouldn’t want anyone to trash your piece, and tear it to so many shreds that you don’t recognise it anymore. So try to rein in your inner bitch.

Be specific

Saying, “I dunno, but I just didn’t like Theodore,” helps nobody. Why didn’t you like him? How can you fix him? Try to focus on specifics. “Theodore’s character didn’t feel realistic to me because he’s so consistently good that he almost doesn’t seem human.” Or, “Theodore’s mode of speech just doesn’t sound right. It’s not feasible to me that a man who never finished primary school would have the kind of vocabulary you’re putting in his mouth.” There, now that you’ve explained your concerns, your friend can fix the problem.

Be timely

Yeah, we’re all busy, but if someone gives you their precious book and asks you to read it, don’t toss it onto a drawer and convince yourself you’ll get to it “some time”. We writers are an anxious bunch. If you make us wait too long for feedback, we’ll start by consuming our fingernails, then move on to our toenails. Then our digestive juices will begin to dissolve our stomach lining. And all the while a nasty voice in our head will be chanting: They hate it because its awful. I suck. My book is a disaster. I’m never going to write again.

Please, put us out of our misery. Get back to us as soon as you’re able. Gracias.

Offer suggestions

If you’re a reader or a writer yourself, you’ll understand how valuable another person’s perspective can be. Sometimes we know something’s wrong, but aren’t sure how to fix it. If Theodore is too good to be true, how do we take him down a peg or two . . . convincingly? Does he filch pennies from the tip jar at the deli? Does he mumble an excuse and shut the door in the face of a couple of kids asking for school donations? Sometimes our imagination well runs dry, and we’re glad for a jump-start.

Remember, though, that just because you shared an idea doesn’t mean you own it. Give of your own free will, but for Gollum’s sake, don’t decide you have the right to call your writer friend up every three days to ask if they’ve used your idea yet. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but once a suggestion has been made, you no longer have ownership.

So what does this all boil down to? When you’re critiquing a piece, do as you would be done by. Because next time, it might be you looking for an opinion, and you’ll want only positive karma flowing your way.

Wait! You aren’t going without leaving a comment, are you?

It’s Scribble Pad Saturday!

Never heard of it? That’s okay; I just made it up.

Oh yeah! It's free!

It’s a lovely day and I’m in a good mood. I’m giving away FREE professional edits to the first FIVE writers sending in their material. No obligations, no strings attached, just some clear, compassionate advice on that piece you worked so hard on.

Simply:

  • Leave a comment on ANY of my Scribble Pad posts. (Not this one, duh.)
  • SHARE any of my posts to your social media.
  • Send me UP TO 2,000 WORDS of your novel, screenplay, non-fiction book or short story.

Cool? Cool.  

Offer ends midnight Sunday.

Vampire-mageddon Approaches

Fat Vampire 3: All You Can Eat by Johnny B. Truant

This third installment in the Fat Vampire series features one of the best opening lines I have ever read, in any book, anywhere: “Reginald was getting tired of bumping into strippers”.

I mean, how great is that? It raises so many questions. Why were the strippers there? Why was he bumping into them? And why was he tired of it? You know you just have to read more.

By this point in the series, things are starting to get dark. There’s a war brewing between vampires and humans, instigated and incited by angels who certainly aren’t the kinds of beings you and I imagine when you hear the word.

Vampire-mageddon is on the horizon, and the entire bloodsucking species is facing extinction. Can the smartest vamp on the planet think his species out of this one?

Again, loved it. And the books are short, so they’re perfect for a couple of nights snuggled up under your blankie.

Pairing

 Fat Vampire 3: All You Can Eat goes perfectly with this elegant stainless steel Atlin coffee mug, because Reginald is still too much of a coward to feed off his prey, and sips it from cups instead. This will keep it nice and warm until he’s ready for it.

And this Asense Home Collection Sunburst Mirror. Because that would be a hilarious trick to play on a vampire . . ..

Read it yet? Want to? Let’s talk.