Month: September 2022

The funny thing about love is that it keeps us so rooted in the NOW.  We like how it makes us feel…right now.  We like the way our heart thumps when he looks our way, and the second he touches us…ooh, we wish this moment will never end.

But NOW is just a series of moments, some good, some not so good, trickling through an hourglass.  It behoves us to bet our chips on a relationship that will still be there, thriving and growing years into the future, rather than waste precious time on one that feels good now, but doesn’t stand a snow-cone’s chance on a hot pavement.

How can you tell if your relationship is here to stay? Take my utterly uninformed and random quiz and see.

His past relationships:

1. He’s had a few long-term girlfriends, thinks of them fondly, and can still remember their food preferences, dogs’ names, and favourite songs.
2. He doesn’t mind a little weekend fling, but has had a girlfriend or two. 
3. His guest towels are embroidered with “His” and “Whoever”.

Family ties:

1. You feel comfortable enough with his family to turn up on his mother’s doorstep with your belly in your hand, even when he’s not with you.
2. His folks are warm and welcoming, but occasionally his mother slips up and calls you by the name of his previous girlfriend.
3. His family refers to you not by name but by number.  And it’s a high number.

“The biggest arguments you have about your future is what you’re going to name your children and what colour you’re going to paint the kitchen.”

Sex

1. Your bedtime romps are loving, playful, adventurous and satisfying.  If he doesn’t know what you want, he’ll ask.  Toys are involved, but not the kind so scary you need a licence just to rev them up.
2. Sex is good…when you have it.  It’s just that sometimes, your appetites don’t seem to mesh.   You have this nagging feeling that if you didn’t work hard at keeping your desire up, the embers would cool to ash…and deep down, you wouldn’t care.
3. The man has so many moves in his playbook you begin to suspect he WROTE the playbook.  He talks dirty, which is nice…except when his sex chat consists of long, detailed descriptions of his past adventures, and the woman he’s had them with.  Some of his exploits could have gotten him arrested.

Money

1. For the most part, you see eye to eye on how money should be handled.  When the subject of future finances crops up, he uses the word “we” a lot.
2. You have occasional rows about money, and sometimes you wish he paid more attention to financial management.  He spends way too much on tech toys and i-Whatsits, but he hasn’t let the electrical service get cut…yet.
3. Hello, Ant?  This is Grasshopper.  You have a lil’ change to spare?

Future goals

1. You pretty much want the same thing.  The biggest arguments you have about your future is what you’re going to name your children and what colour you’re going to paint the kitchen.
2. He’s feeling nesty, but you want to travel a bit before you settle down.  But you come up with a compromise that works for both of you.
3. You want a house 45 minutes from town, a son and daughter, in that order, and a dog rescued from the pound.  He wants a houseboat moored on the banks of the Caroni, children give him hives, and his only use for small mammals is to feed his pet macajuel.

Other good indicators are similarities in:

• Religious beliefs
• Educational background
• Politics
• Women’s rights
• Friends

Scoring

Mostly As – One day, you’ll sit on the porch with your grandchildren on your knees.

Mostly Bs – You may not be as compatible as hops and ham, but with some work—and some serious, honest discussions or your goals, hopes and needs—you just might make it.

Mostly Cs – The life expectancy of your relationship slightly exceeds that of yogurt.