Category: Free Advice

So named because of its shy and retiring nature, and its penchant for hiding under toilet seats. If you are reclusive, it means you avoid social interaction.

But I heard on the news an official saying he was “reclusing” himself from certain proceedings. No, good sir, you are “recusing” yourself. This means you are voluntarily withdrawing from a matter because of circumstances which could impact upon your impartiality, like a judge presiding upon her child’s court case, or a surgeon operating on his wife.

So, recluse = that weird, sorta smelly fella living 3 houses down, who has no friends and never says good morning to anybody.

Recuse = doing the honourable thing, removing yourself on principle, a rarity in politics, but let’s not go there!

And by the way: 1) “recluse” is not a verb, and 2) a brown recluse spider probably can kill you, but most of the time it’ll just leave you wishing you were dead.

Easy. A fugu fish will kill you if you bite it, and a mapepire will kill you if it bites you.

There’s a difference between poison and venom that few people pay any mind to. You hear that someone was “bitten by a poisonous spider”. There was even one unfortunate newscaster who announced that someone was “stung by a poisonous snake”. (A new species, I presume.)

Remember: poison is ingested, (or inhaled, or even soaks through the skin). But most of the time, you have to eat it for it to affect you. Some creatures have evolved a toxin that dissuades predators from eating them, like the poison dart frog. There are also poisonous mushrooms (not to be confused with ‘shrooms that could make you very, very happy).

Venom is produced by some creatures, like spiders, snakes and wasps, as a weapon. They can inject it into your system using their stinger or fangs. Venom probably isn’t something you’re likely to eat.

Got it? And next time you venture outdoors, beware of those stinging snakes!

When I was working at NGC, I was responsible for creating and managing a tertiary education programme in which gave university students a crash course in the gas business. It was a comprehensive, top-of-the line programme, a great introduction for anyone who wanted to get into the business after school.

One of my most memorable applications, via email, read like: “cn u pls register me thnx”

Excuse me, bruh, but who the hell do you think you’re talking to? You’re applying to enter a top notch programme at one of the country’s prestige institutions…but you can’t find the time to write a coherent sentence?
When we write, we need to remember our audience. “Textspeak” is great for your friends, but if I get a message like this in a corporate environment I will assume that 1) you are not adequately versed in the English language, in which case I will not engage you, or 2) You don’t give enough of a rat’s ass to spend 2 minutes writing in complete sentences. In which case I will not engage you.

This guy got in; he was lucky I’d had a good breakfast and was in a good mood. But when you write, remember who you’re talking to and frame your language to suit.

Kthnxsbye.